Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32
I have to admit that in these years of being a Christian, reading the Bible is seldom a rewarding experience for me. Is it not strange that while the words of the Bible offer rich promises of peace and salvation, so little of it translates into my daily life? I cannot claim to feel that I "lay down in green pastures", or "rest beside quiet waters."
Romans 8 tells us that "nothing separates us from the love of Christ." What could be more reassuring than the love of the most powerful being in this world? Yet I could read this repeatedly, memorising it, with little change in how I feel towards myself, my troubles and God. Somehow the significance of the all these amazing verses gets muted and diminished, as my old self and familiar patterns of thinking always make me respond to trouble in the old ways - in fear or in anger, and then in guilt.
I have come to realise that, at least for me, this is due to distorted perception of the world, leading to disproportionate responses because of deception - by the senses of the flesh, and by the lies of the evil one. During a stressful period of my life, the simple loss of a notebook made me feel like giving up a major project, because I couldn't imagine replacing what was recorded. Yet eventually, the problem was corrected in just a few hours. On many occasions, the offences of others look more intentional than they are and hence trigger greater annoyance than they should. Troubles loom huge in my lenses but help from our all-powerful God seem so far away, when the truth is really the opposite. It is like seeing the world reflected in funny mirrors.
Surely this is what Jesus means when he says that some "have ears but do not hear, they have eyes but do not see." The heart is so troubled by the old ways of responding to trouble that it is bound by anger or fear. And this heart is our "well-spring of life". No wonder one could be a Christian for many years, and still experience little victory or joy.
So my new year goal is, to replace each lie with God's truth, and let the truth will set me free. God, open my eyes that I may see the chariots of fire that are on my side.