Matsuda and Machida

All trainlines lead to Shinjuku

minasan, ohayo gozaimasu

nihon no tomo made me go to the english lesson for japanese, at the english centre. it was interesting, i must say. the lesson was energetic and the students were most attentive. i enjoyed myself, until the chapel time, which was in japanese. i was bored to tears. it was impossible to pretend to be interested when i don't understand a single word. everyone was nodding at me encouragingly, and i could only smile weakly and wonder when it would all end.

and that is why, it's sunday, and i am here blogging, instead of going to church :P can i imagine myself in the same position, a missionary alone in Nippon？well, i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

cultural rules can be so unpredictable, it's impossible not to do anything wrong. for example, you shouldn't:

1. cross your legs on the trains

2. eat or drink while walking

3. wear sleeveless clothes until everyone agrees that it is summer

i did all of the above :P but since i am gaikoku jin, i just have to ignore all the disapproving or curious looks.

i spent all my yen already and it's only the third day. tried to cash my travellers cheque, but guess what, mine was in sterling pounds, and here they take only american dollar cheques. this shows that UK is no longer a great world power :P sigh! living off the generosity of nihon no tomo now. hopefully banks in Ginza are more international. help! i still want to shop in harajuku later.

Not Lost

Not Lost

it was raaaaining the whoooole day! :(

i wanted to go to Asakusa, but nearly went to Akasaka instead - see the difference? my dear nihon no tomo gave me such long instructions that i forgot the most important information. it must have been my guardian angels again, cos somehow, i managed to wend my way through the maze of train lines and finally reached Asakusa anyway. actually, i am impressed by myself. i have to say here on the record that i didn't lost my way at all today, and the japanese train/densha/subway system is MORE complicated that London's subway.

i wandered around the quaint little lanes in Asakusa and it was raining. i went into a little shop for lunch, came out, and it was still raining. i was the ONLY customer in the little ramen shop, and nobody, nobody talked at all when i was there. it was a most uncomfortable situation. i didn't linger.

then i went to Ueno, and explored the park and surrounding area. i paid ¥420 to enter the museum, not cos i am interested, but just to get out of the rain. i am sorry to say that the museum was awfully boring and unimaginative. but i liked Ameyoko cos its lively and bustling. interesting to see people hawking seafood that is so fresh that it is almost alive.

singaporeans shouldn't complain. nihon no tomo's flat has bedrooms that are the size of storerooms. and the trains...even if i don't hold on to anything while standing, i can't fall down cos there is no space. i emerged feeling crushed and weak. so, if you think you know what rush hour is...

Japan morning

ohayo! it is a cool and rainy morning in tokyo. my breakfast is waiting for me, and i am blogging instead ;P

nihon no tomo explained the very complex japanese transport to me. i sure hope that i would be able to navigate my way around. there are so many kinds of trains! and everything is in kanji...

as expected, i take ages to say anything is japanese, and so, i am thoroughly intimidated, even though everyone has been very sympathetic and kind. i got unto the wrong coach, and they were trying to explain to me, and all i could say was, 'i dont understand!'

anyway, everything from the airport to the coach runs like a clockwork. i am truly impressed.

now, i am going off to explore the Asakusa.

freedom

it is election time.

seeing my old comrades in the news gives me mixed feelings. it's remarkable to see how far people can diverge from a common point. i have returned to the road most travelled, but they have gone on to real politics.

when we were members of the democr*t*c s*cialist club, we were almost like the youth of the french revolution, davids against the goliath. never mind that we made such little impact. it was an exciting experience mingling with the politicians (and dissidents).

i am going to have to say sorry to SL and co, but i have really quite changed my mind. political freedom and choice? i don't think so.

problem is, i get tired of hearing people complain about the Government. it's always easy to nitpick and point out the 101 faults of the Party. some of the criticism is even, quite valid. but we cannot deny that looking at the whole picture, singapore has been remarkably well run. yet, it has become fashionable to be cynical, to bleat about the lack of freedom, and to mock the establishment. what is new? teenagers do that too.

how do people treat the vote? not by giving it to the most deserving candidate, but often, using it as a protest vote. people want to see opposition in the parliament because ours now is safe and boring. do we prefer to see taiwanese martial arts in the parliament? obviously not, but the vote goes to the opposition anyway, because we are assured of our stability. it's almost like a game. so much for democracy.

this probably comes as a surprise to those who knew me during the heady days of political activism. it looks like idealism has died in me somewhere, sometime. i once thought political freedom is important, now, it seems very much that responsibilty is more so.

World Peace

i am a busy person, mind you, but in the interest of world peace, i shall have to go and offer my vetting services to the White House.

Reading the report on Hu Jintao's visit to the States makes me really ti xiao jie fei - i don't know whether to laugh or cry.

i cannot believe that the americans cannot even get the official name of china right, and end up insulting the country mortally by calling it the 'republic of china', which is, unfortunately, taiwan. somebody obviously has not done his homework. maybe everyone is just too busy and important to notice a minor detail like that.

or maybe this is a sad reflection of the country's education system.


at any rate, i think there is great promise for a second career for me.

Via Dolorosa

being an usher in church makes it very hard to be holy on sunday mornings.

ushers are given instructions to lead the congregation members to sit in the right places, like filling up the front rows first. i never understand why this is such a difficult task to do. early birds like to sit in the back rows. some like to sit near te exits. a few like the reserved seats best. basically, people sit everywhere and anywhere they want, except where they are supposed to. days like that, i wish i had a whip to gently persuade my dear brothers and sisters in christ to do the right thing.

i have only tried to influence an insignificant action, and already find it extraordinarily hard. can we imagine how difficult it is to be God, and to have patience with a perverse and wilful people? and to care not only about the actions but also the heart. one might as well try to control the direction of sand slipping through your fingers.

the hardest part is not trying to control people. it's guiding people with gentleness. if God tames us with whips and blasts of lightning, i should think that obedience wouldn't be very much of a problem. yet, to quote CS Lewis, he does not coerce, he only woos. and the stripes of the whip are on His own back. it is good friday tomorrow. it is time to remember that we are the ones responsible for the broken body on the cross, because of God's love for an undeserving people. that is truly,

Amazing grace.

the Tempest

sometimes there is only a fine line between friend and foe.

Life scattered the cast of the Tempest 1996 around the world, but yesterday, we reunited for a sunday lunch. even the long lost King Alonso made a rare appearance. prospero and prince ferdinand came too. it was quite an occasion, and i liked the food at Imperial Banquet, though the other airy fairy didn't.


and it looks like we have decided that yucky is one of us, after all.

so it struck me that friendship is very strange. we have had a decade of bickering and fights, which involve flying objects - like shoes, pens, fried fish and squashed lemons. i remember scenes of angry fairies yelling at the obnoxious director. but every time yucky returns to singapore, he would call me, and sometimes, he is even rather nice.

he is going to off to HK to work, so, as usual, we tried to browbeat him to pick up the tab, but failed, as usual too. never mind, he said that he would buy us dinner if we go to HK. hahaha, the lawyer is really careless this time. he should know the danger of giving blank cheques. i am going to check out the most expensive restaurants on The Peak. but to be nice, i'll pay for the tram tickets up :P

sometimes there is only a fine line between friend and foe.

Plato

In many forms that require personal information, there is frequently a blank that is labelled, 'religion'. I inevitably fill in 'Protestant Christian'. Why is there a need for such precision? In fact, many may ask, where are there in the first place so many different denominations in Christianity? Why are there Baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, evangelicals, Calvinists, Lutherans, and Pentecostals? I have only given a very small section of the list that goes on. If there are so many different denominations, which one has the correct interpretation of the Bible? In a religion that preaches love and unity, why are there such great differences?

Then one day, I discovered Plato, and it looks like the great man hit the nail on the head on this matter. I am really a novice in philosophy, so, bear with my uncertain grasp of these ideas. And if you are not convinced, remember that to reject Christianity because of my poor writing commits the straw man fallacy.


Plato believed that everything in this world changes over time and space, like by aging, or dying. This world of material is thus mutable and transient. Everything erodes eventually.

However, everything in this world is made after a mould, which is perfect and never changes. This mould is eternal. For it to remain unchanging eternally, it cannot be made of material, or substance, because all substance disintegrates eventually. Even diamonds. It is an 'idea', a pattern, it is spiritual.

This mould, nobody has ever seen. But subconsciously, we know that this mould exists. Take, for example, the horse. Every horse we see is different - in size, colour, shape, even temperament. But behind these different characteristics, we see the essence of a horse, or the 'idea horse', which enables us to recognise the physical horse as such. Plato thus concluded that behind this material world which erodes over time, there exists a 'world of ideas', one which is perfect, unchanging and eternal.


By now, the comparison with Christianity, with its many forms, should be obvious.

Just as the 'idea horse' exists, there exists a perfect 'idea of Christianity'. It is the true embodiment of the Kingdom of God, the body of Christ. It is truly life as God wishes it to be for us.

Yet, this is never seen in the world we live in. In fact, I hate to have to admit this but Christians frequently fall too far short of the 'idea Christianity'. At times, we are so far that we are practically unrecognisable from true Christianity. This results in the great diversity, or if I may be so honest, division, in our religion.

This is because just as material horses are corrupted by the environment, the Christianity that is manifested in us is always tainted by the corruption of the flesh. Churches divide because of human sin and human error. Very often, new denominations are set up because of disagreement, because the founders each believed that his own idea of God is the accurate and correct one.

But this does not mean that the 'idea' of Christianity, the unchanging and eternal Kingdom of God does not exist. It is merely obscured at this moment, in this space. To put it bluntly, the Christ that is seen in us is as if viewed through funny mirrors that give distorted reflections.

Such a reading of the many denominations is not intended to discredit them as false, merely, imperfect. Indeed, some have strayed so far from the 'idea Christianity' as to be regarded as cults. Yet, many retain the 'essence' of Christianity, differing only in matters of preference. This is perhaps, inevitable, because of the imperfect world we live in.

When will we see this 'idea Christianity'? Not in the natural world, with the sins of the flesh and the temptations of the evil one. But when all that is material fades away, only the eternal remains.


Having said it all, I have to acknowledge the source of these ideas - CS Lewis, whose Chronicles of Narnia sparked off my fascination with Plato. highly recommended reading for all.

the end

it is without any sense of loss that i told DX that i won't be going for skating lessons anymore.

after years of rushing for skating lessons, doing off-ice conditioning, hyperventilating during competitions, and hanging out with other skaters,

i have finally called it a day.



DX was disappointed, but some things cannot be helped. i am grateful to God that the end is easier than i thought. i feel no regret, only relief. there are so many other things that are important in life, and this skater girl has to grow up and move on.

it is like, the end of a very, very long summer vacation, a mid-summer night's dream. but dreamers awake eventually.

it's a pity i never conquered the axel.

Ecclesiastes

Spoiler and warning: this is going to be very boring.


Christian heroes of faith are often upheld as models for lesser beings to imitate. Some admire Peter for his leadership ability, or Paul for the depth of his analysis. Others may wish to emulate King David's love for the God. But of all the biblical characters, my favourite is King Solomon. Because he was fabulously wealthy, wise beyond understanding, enjoyed all the delights of the flesh, and was ultimately utterly disillusioned.

I love reading the book of Ecclesiastes over and over again, not only for the beauty of the language, but also the existentialist melancholy, which is still true of modern life. Indeed as Solomon poignantly cries, meaningless, meaningless. Everything under the sun is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Material comforts bring no happiness, the colour of beauty fades inevitably, and the significance of lifelong achievements is transient. Generations live and die, even the memory of these people is lost.

The moment of eureka came upon me ironically in a shopping mall, where I was wandering between two appointments. The Christmas shopping season brings with it a splendid range of kawaii trinkets and party clothes of all manners, and the delightful dilemmas of which to purchase. Then it occurred to me that buying yet another pretty necklace really isn't going to make any difference in my life. In fact, buying things in generally make very little impact on me, unless of course, they are necessities. Sadly, the much touted retail therapy only did much damage to my bank account, and nothing for my happiness. Purchases sometimes stay in a corner of my room, unopened and unloved. It looks like they are attractive only when they are on sale, and once the act of acquisition is over, I lose all interest in them because I can no longer buy them again. I still try to listen to my MP3 player every now and then to console myself that I didn't waste the money, though.

It was surprisingly easy walking away from the lovely stuff which I usually have a great weakness for. I only have to remind myself that wearing the necklace isn't going to make me lovelier. Besides, the prettier I am now, the more wrenching it would be for me when one day I grow old and lose the freshness of youth. And I am halfway there already. I don't want to become a plastic surgery cyborg like celebrities, in their bid to prevent the inevitable. One might as well try to stop the tide from coming in.

When I was 5 years old, I was the top student in my kindergarten. It was a terribly proud moment for my parents, but even more so for myself, standing on the stage to receive my little prize. Yet with the perspective of the latter years, how unimportant and trivial this monumental achievement has become! Indeed, how laughable it would be if I were to continue to take pride in that, because with adulthood rightfully comes greater goals - a promotion, enterprise, private housing, country club memberships. Some go on to win sporting honours, or even, leadership of the country. These achievements may seem impressive to us, but when we shuffle off the mortal coil, will they really matter to anyone at all? We may toil and sweat, and lose sleep over the stress of coping with our lives, but when we stand before the Great White Throne, dare we bring these before our Maker, and say boldly that these are worthwhile fruits of our sojourn in the world? Or perhaps these would appear to Him, what the kindergarten first prize looks like to us now, because like children, we lack the wisdom to recognise what is of true worth.

And this is why I like Ecclesiastes - complete pessimism about life, because this realisation stops us from mindless pursuit of what is desirable but futile. Solomon's nihilist representation of our life on earth leads us to seek what is indestructible and of eternal value. I guess nothing puts everything into perspective like eternity. Death has the habit of making us concentrate wonderfully.