My Say

i have been swallowing my words so often that i think i am growing fat.

i don't know whether it is because i have become wiser with words, or maybe i am just too tired to argue.

sometimes i don't offer contradictory views because i don't want to strain friendships. this is particularly true of theological opinions, because most of the time, i think we know too little to be able to argue meaningfully.

other times i don't argue because i also discover that some people - many people - aren't really interested in what is said. they just want to expound on and on. h*ll, i have my own opinion and i am not about to change my mind because of your pontification. it isn't my problem if you insist on your misled views. besides, a lot of opinions cannot really be justified by logic and evidence. i just feel this way, and why can't i? why should i attempt to put emotions into words and reasons?

and i have learnt not to speak, when speaking doesn't help anything. words are hopelessly futile in consolation, and pointless in trying to change the decisions made by the powers-that-be. but it is ok, argument isn't the only form of resistance.

so just because i am silent doesn't mean that i agree with you. you may have the last word but you may not get what you want. you cannot defeat me when i choose not to fight. i feel rather like the defiant little boy who is punished in class: 'i am standing, but my heart is sitting.'