Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Dragon Father

So much ink and tears had been spilt over the Asian phenomenon - Tiger mum, with the power to produce high-achieving children, who could have deep emotional scars from all the demands over the years.

Yet no one has said anything Tiger mum's male counterpart - the Dragon Father, as I shall term him.

The saddest observation is, one is never in doubt of the Dragon Father's love. He slogs hard to make life better for his family, he reserves the best food for the children. Not one to show much affection, he pushes his children towards excellence without ever expressing approbation, in case the child becomes complacent. Hence to him, the test paper has always lost 10 marks, and never gained 90 marks. The Dragon Father's love doesn't make it any easier to fall short of his expectations. Perhaps it makes it even more painful to know he is disappointed.

One day a guest speaker in church remarked that stern, taciturn Chinese fathers distort our image of our Heavenly Father's love. How else do we imagine what a father’s love is like, if we have no other model but our own? Hence we imagine God to be harsh and impossible to please, imposing a great paternal frown over our lives. We may have received forgiveness for our sins, but we cringe when we go before Him, feeling vaguely inadequate all the time.

So friends, if you are a Chinese father, please go and hug your children and tell them you accept them. Let them know you still love them even when they fail to get into the school of your wishes. Let them go to bed even if they have not finished revising for their tests. Don't exact such a high cost on your children's obedience.

No comments: