Women

seriously politically incorrect, misogynistic stuff. feminists best not read :P

what is all the fuss about having women ministers? (or that the latest Cabinet lineup has no woman) women have broken new grounds everywhere, i suppose it is a matter of time before this highest sanctuary is breached.

my interests feel reasonably well represented already. i can't think of anything that needs special feminine attention at the cabinet levels. i am represented as a singaporean and that is enough for me.

feminists might claim that the situation means that there are unacceptable systematic barriers that prevent women from reaching the highest office. insidious discrimination, they cry! why else are there no women in the whole cabinet? well...there is another rather obvious reason (but i can't say it i can't say it. don't make me say it :P even political incorrectness has its limits :P)

in fact, i don't particularly admire female leaders or see them as role models. think of Margaret Thatcher, or Hillary Clinton's bullheaded fight for the White House. Goodness me, these women have nothing in common with me except biology. their achievements are their own and have nothing to do with me. i am intimdated by the Iron Lady, and repelled by the former First lady. if i were to meet them, i would probably feel like a useless, frivolous akimbo bimbo. and they would think the same of me. this sisterhood thing is a myth.

there is something worse than not having a woman in the cabinet - having a woman in the cabinet because she is a woman. that would be terrible, because such affirmative action would undermine everything that other female leaders have achieved on their own merit.

so, who are these people complaining about the lack of females in the Cabinet? Not, i imagine, other women. because i don't want to be a minister, and don't care if other women can't :P


ps: the answer to yesterday's question: Myanmarese (according to Weekend Today)

Via Dolorosa

i don't like you, but don't take it personally.

According to Alan Greenspan's new book, Richard Nixon was not just 'anti-semitic', he was anti-women, anti-hispanics, well, basically, anti-everyone else. the dislike was not personal. he just didn't like people. Some days, i feel like that, especially when i am in a crowded Mrt carriage, rubbing shoulders with sweaty strangers. the smell of our humanity can kill me.

i am not bothered by the grand evil schemes that people dream up, because they are so remote from my personal experience. it is the everyday encounters with people that get on my nerves. little things can be so annoying if they happen constantly, like handphones ringing in cinemas, human roadblocks on escalators and whiny voices. i can't stand women whining, because they sound just like me :P some days i fantasize that i live in South New Zealand, where the nearest human is 5mins away...by helicopter.

Yesterday was Good Friday service in church, and once again, we were reminded that Jesus died the cruellest death possible to remove the weight of our sins. God, i cannot understand why You bother. this could only be done out of love, but to love such as us! to love the sloth, the glutton, the self-righteous, the complainers and the grump (like me). and most of the time, we are not even grateful. i mean, if i had my way, there would be no Noah's ark during the big flood.

sometimes there are really irritating, slap-able brats running around, and only their doting parents think they are cute. God's love reminds me of those parents, because i know myself, and worse, He knows me even better. He knows the dark thoughts in my heart, the careless words i say, and everything else more, and oddly enough, loves me anyway. He is endlessly patient with the faithless prayers i mouth, and all the times when i sing hymns without meaning a word. Then, because He remembers that i was made from dust, He says, "where sin increased, grace increased even more." (Romans 6). God! How could it be?

not that i am complaining. i could be the one stripped and whipped and nailed to the cross, so, honestly, i am very relieved to be spared. i just find this agape (love) incomprehensible. Dear Lord, i am completely, utterly floored by this

Amazing Grace.

the last post on batam

ok, i finally got around to putting the pics of batam online. notice however that mine are extremely non-social. if you want the more personal pics, go and look at sminy's blog instead.

this is the view from the girls' villa. i don't think that my hp camera does the beauty of the place justice. the villa's balcony hangs right over the stormy grey sea, so you can admire the waves lapping on the rocks, even when indoors. why would anyone pay so much to go to the maldives? can things get much better than this?



i had a single room, where i was able to be as anti-social as i wanted to be. this is where i curl up to read whenever i want time out. since it rained so much, i seem to spend half of my holiday just lolling on this couch. rather miss it now. i can see the pool from here :)



we met an old friend in batam megamall. everyone wanted to take a picture with dear A&W bear. we all had rootbeer float. the funny thing is, when we had A&W in singapore, i never had rootbeer float, or ever ate much at A&W. see, things are precious only when they are hard to find :P

Rainy Holiday

why am i blogging again when i am at a beach resort? because it has been raining
and raining
and raining
and is still raining.
so, this is the only thing left to do :P

the poor guys are disappointed about missing the banana boat, but since i can't do any sea sports, i don't really care too much :P

slept reasonably well today, but i woke up sadly early, at 6.15am, which is 7.15am in singapore. it was already bright. why does the sun rise so early here? i tried to go back to sleep, but a whole tribe of korean aunties and uncles trooped heavily out to breakfast. a little later, the whole tribe trooped back after breakfast :( why do people get up so early when it is holiday?

today, the rest of us got pummelled and kneaded by the excellent masseuses in the spa. by the end of my treatment, i was so relaxed and lazy that i could only crawl back to my room and sleep again. the treatment rooms were rather strange though. the set up is a serious test of your faith. it was only after my massage that i realised that the walls are made of glass. i wonder if the people at the beach could see what goes on! probably not...at least, i hope not...i mean, surely not!

i tried exploring the place despite the rain. there is a little spice garden, and nice wandering lanes along the beach. but i felt dreadfully silly carrying my umbrella around. besides, it is awfully cold. we all packed for the wrong climate. luckily i brought along a pair of long sleeves last minute. my room's air-conditioner is set at the maximum temperature - 30 degrees :P

i am never travelling with people who like to sing in public again :P yesterday we had a most strange experience. the lounge singer invited mel to sing, and unfortunately, she sang well. he got so inspired that he decided to make all of us perform...one by one! and so, tonny was up next, and then, amy went up to sing too! bloh and i were hauled up next, by our hair. she sang a song. there is no way i am going to sing in public when i am coughing so badly! and so, i had to offer to play the piano. he was very surprised, and funnier still, sang along when i performed. so, it was quite an experience. luckily the northpole gang is full of talented performers :P tonight if he is still around, we have decided that we are going to enter by another door and run away as fast as we could.

ok, now i am going to see if the rain has finally stopped. if not, it's back to the bed :P this is my kind of holiday :)

On Holiday

Why am i blogging when i am in a beach resort?

the simple reason is, it has been raining
and raining
and raining
and is still raining :(

the good folks of the north pole packed ourselves to a nice resort in Batam. our villas are right beside the tumultous sea, and this place isn't crowded at all, considering that it is school holidays now. in fact, this place is so laidback and comfortable that i am going to be selfish and not tell you where we are :P don't want this place packed with the holidaying crowd :P

since it is pouring, we have to find ways to amuse ourselves. so, i am here surfing the internet in front of the beach. Wayne and mel are playing pool. sminy and tonny are getting kneaded. the others are drinking by the bar...this is life :)

in a little while, we are going to have a kelong seafood dinner. and tomorrow, we plan to go and eat live seafood, you know, the kind which you pick out of the water, and throw into the frying pan right away.

now, if only it would stop raining. then we can go and fish for gong-gongs.

Wabi Sabi

A barren tree in the dead of winter. but life would come back in spring.

i am not sure that i can fully explain wabi-sabi, but it seems to me to be the right way to live, not that i actually follow it. in fact, i am quite far from it, and that is why it is such an attractive idea to me.

it is a philosophy of simplicity in life, of not striving or struggling. wabi-sabi accepts that life is imperfect, and fleeting. with life inevitably comes decay. we cannot hold on to happy moments, but sadness does not last forever either. as such, one should move with the natural rhythm of life.

this term probably is of zen origins, but it is not very different from the attitude set out in Ecclesiastes (Old Testament). King Solomon too, observes that 'everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind'. we will return to dust, with all our dreams and aspirations, and all our griefs.

but don't get me wrong. i don't think this attitude is pessimistic at all. it is serene acceptance of what life offers us, and a refusal to strain too hard at things that are impermanent anyway, and trying to control what we cannot control.

and for the Christian, it means also that we submit ourselves to the will of God for what He wants to bring about in our lives, because as the psalmist says, 'all the days ordained for me are written in Your book before one of them came to be'.

i imagine that wabi-sabi cannot be achieved with effort. one would just be trying too hard. it is cultivated when we learn to let go. and peace comes from not struggling to change what we cannnot, letting ourselves flow unresistingly through the ups and downs in life, knowing that we are secure in the love of God, and we will meet Him one day. i suppose, all questions and complaints can wait until then.

a walk in the mountains

many years ago, i went to Nepal with a bunch of good friends, and one day, the local guide told us we were going for a 'gentle walk'. naively, we all trotted along with great enthusiasm...for the first hour.

then, it turned into to be a monster (to me) 26-km trek along the foot of the annapurna mountains. in Nepal, there is no such thing as a straight walk. you are either climbing upwards, or trying to stop yourself from rolling downhill.

one of the most vivid memories i had was this particularly long and winding stretch we walked through. it was downhill all the way, and i learnt that day that gravity is not a friend. there were many parts when i had a helping hand, but somehow, i managed to stumble through right to the end...then i turned around and looked back at the entire trail, and nearly fainted from horror.

the trail was nothing but a merest scratch on the massive face of the mountain! it was so narrow, anyone of us could have just slipped, and fallen to our deaths thousands of feet below. i hadn't realised how dangerous it was, because i just focused on my feet, taking one step, and then the next, before i knew it, i got through everything. i am a very faint-hearted person. if i had known what i was in for, my legs would definitely collapse beneath me. they would have to send a helicopter up to airlift me away :P

this experience helps me to understand better why God wants to lead us one step at a time, instead of showing us the destination right from the start. we might draw back in fear, and fail to achieve what we could. the thing is, we might not realise that when the eventual happens, we would be prepared, because God's grace is sufficient. but trying to be prepared too far ahead forces us to use today's grace for tomorrow's problems. no wonder He tells us 'not to worry about tomorrow, because each day has enough trouble of its own.'

it is really easier to just take one step at a time. and that is what i am going to do: focus on putting one foot in front of the other, and see where God eventually leads me.

2008 Resolutions

i made 10 resolutions for the next year. although that's a lot, they are very simple ones, but at least, this means i am less likely to break them. no point overreaching myself, and failing eventually. here goes:

1. i shall not purchase too many beauty and makeup products. why should i have 2 blushers since i have only one face?

2. pay my credit card bill fully every month.

3. drink less coffee and tea :(

4. try to use sunscreen and moisturisers more conscientiously. got a scolding from skin doctor last month :P

5. get my own bachelorette pad. anyone got a flat to let out (cheaply)? i promise to be a good tenant.

6. keep my room and workstation tidy. no slum area allowed.

7. read more books.

8. lose weight, THEN watch my new weight more carefully.

9. use a hair conditioner everytime i wash my hair.

10. be less quick to judge, and more quick to listen


My simple lifeplan:

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

(Ecclesiastes 2: 24-26)

KL snippets

i am back! it was a short trip we had, but with the heavy action that went on, the fat one and me were almost out of ammunition by the end of the trip, so it is just as well that we made this shopping trip a quick one. otherwise there would be greater damage :P

we stayed in swiss garden hotel, it is quite near the shopping districts. the rooms are really nice, quite cosy and given a wooden feel. but i am sorry to say that the breakfasts were mediocre, and the service not much better. anyway, this was my room before the mess set in.

we spent the first day at KLCC, because it was the fat one's first visit to KL. i figure that no one can actually go to KL and not see Petronas...right? shopping there was limited, because everything was dreadfully expensive. so it was mainly a 'i've seen KLCC' visit.

second day at megamall saw much more fruit :) the place was unbelievably huge. we spent the whole day trawling, and then when we were about to leave, we realised that...we had only seen one corner of the whole place, because we didn't even know that there was another wing! huh-uh. how embarassing :P but anyway, we did enough damage to our wallets.

we spent 3 whole hours at the Bobbi Brown counter (because it's cheaper there). the saleslady was excellent, and basically taught us how to enhance our looks with make up. she was amazingly patient...so it was like we tried on something, cleaned it off, and tried again, etc. my goodness. make up is so much effort! in the end, i told her frankly that i'm really lazy and want a minimum-effort-look, and yes, she created one for me. with such great service, the inevitable happened. this is our loot from bobbi brown. i think it is about to become my favourite brand :)

then, of course we had to enjoy luxury meals at half the price, so this was one of our lunches: grilled oysters, shisamo (fish), gyoza, seafood salad. yummy!

complaints:

according to cousin Kee, we should pay cabs according the meter. but guess what, me and the fat one probably have the words 'foreigners' written on our foreheads. the cabdrivers ALL refused to use the meters! the minute we get into the cab, sometimes before that, they would quote us a price, and it was IMPOSSIBLE to get a cab to use the meter :( i call it the conspiracy of the dark forces of cab drivers.

mummy said that KL has great tea, so i was really looking forward to it. but we were probably in all the wrong places, because there was NO milk tea anywhere. the only tea served was with teabags that looked like damp tissue paper :P in the end, my caffeine fixes were carried out at Toastbox in megamall - singaporean brand at singaporean prices. the other place was...coffee bean and tea leaf - American brand at american prices. my cappucino cost RM8.50. where is all the good tea? sad, didn't even find a place for bubble tea :(

then we came back on grassland coaches. they actually had in-coach entertainment, so i watched 3 movies on the way back :)

Silence

How silent is silent enough?

reading sminy's entry on invigilating makes me want to laugh. i had a similar experience in the same place, so i know exactly what it feels like. we guardians of peace and justice were solemnly warned that we should wear soft shoes so that we could walk quickly (but noiselessly) when delivering extra paper. this was hard, because not everyone was trained in ballet, so the same problems happened - complaints about being slow, being noisy. yes, excuse us for breathing at all.

i don't remember taking my examinations in such holy silence. in those days, air conditioning was a luxury that was never spent on examinations. we took our exams with children shouting in the neighbouring fields and noisy fans whirring. on one remarkably memorable occasion, one invigilator even forgot to tell us to start writing. of course there was h*ll to pay for later, but for some of us, justice came too late :(

so i can't helping wondering why so much importance is given to creating the PERFECT environment for examinations. of course we would like to give the children a fair chance, but really, why do external factors matter so much? i should ask, why SHOULD external factors matter so much?

frankly, no where else would ever again care so much for YOUR well being, YOUR comfort and YOUR sense of peace. in most of our lives, we are expected to perform as well as we could with people pacing around, and yes, with people breathing down our necks! the examination hall is quite an artificially protected sanctuary, and effort should be made to control the atmosphere. however, when unreasonable expectations are placed on our ability to control, i think what is displayed is just...weakness. after all, it is also one's personal responsibility to shut out distractions and concentrate. hey, even athletes from cold countries are going to have to compete in the dry summer heat of Beijing 2008, and nobody is going to try to control the climate, because it is simply not possible.

since the external cannot be controlled completely, i think the only source of stability should come from one's inner peace. isn't this part of inculcating resilience? for youths on the brink of adulthood, complaining incessantly about NOISE seems awfully childish and petty. and, nobody except the candidates is going to have to live with the results of this great endeavour.